Sunday, April 21, 2024

tasty tidbits



Your hand, 
smoother than the finest satin, 
whiter than the palest moon,
stirs my heart strings harder every day,
making me your willing prisoner.      
            



















                                                                                                                                                                
Your body,
which I never fully saw, 
is made of moonshine and milk. 
I know it. 
My hand described it to me, 
My mouth savored it for me. 
A forbidden apple, a fearful pleasure, 
lying down, like a wounded panther. 
We kissed and cried,
and I loved your etheric mind 
& courageous heart.



Your ruby necklace 
cuts through your tender neck, 
& I can't move my eyes away.
The blood in my veins runs hasty, 
collapsing pure thoughts, one by one. 
My teeth are hungry for thy soul. 
which your jugular hides behind pearls. 
The ruby necklace calls me, torments me, 
protects you, maroons me.                                                          









                                                             



Monday, November 29, 2021

A City for No One


 


I walk around the streets of this city, as I have always done, chasing something true, something beautiful. The people and the buildings are the entities that I usually find mostly interesting. The people, because they represent life, and a city without life is just an eerie sight to see (we all have experienced that during the recent forced closures); and the buildings, because they are the history and the style of the times. Unfortunately, lately, I am having serious trouble in satisfying these interests of mine.

I rarely see any happy faces these days. I look for them, but I can’t really find any. Maybe one, occasionally, which is just a drop in the ocean of gloomy and depressed profiles that floods the city's streets. Of course, there are many reasons behind this fact, like for example: the mysterious sickness representing death, the economic depression knocking at the door, the sick political theatre being played every day, the lack of emergency lanes, the unexpected energy crisis, still keeping a nonsense curfew after 11 o’clock, the lack of possibility to live a decent life in a country blessed by God, increasing poverty, mafia wars, surging corruption, and the list grows on and on. All these facts have their toll on the life of inhabitants. However, the main reason in my opinion, behind these depressive faces is - living in a city with no identity, and no living standards.

Every single building which represents the history of this city is being torn down, systematically; instead, endless dubious towers are raising with lighting speed. They are the steel and cement
giants with no eyes, which cast a suffocating shadow on everything and everyone. A brand-new skyline which didn’t really exist 5 years ago, now imprisons the city center, depriving people from the sunlight, and the beautiful view of Dajti mountain. It is impossibly difficult to find history here now. According to style, well, I don’t think one can find style in a city where its old national theater building was torn down only to build more nondescript towers instead.

This is a city where as soon as you wake up and step out of the house, you are in permanent conflict with everyone, and everything, because nothing functions as it should, and no one is responsible for anything. The urban environment is conceptualized in a way that is naturally hostile to the people. It resembles to a type of purposely messed up minefield, where you have to struggle not to start a fight with someone for the dumbest reasons; like, walking in the middle of the street instead of the sidewalk, even though there is no sidewalk.

On the other hand, it is unreal to see how people struggle each day to live a life that does not differ much from that of cattle. A harsh comparison but that’s what it is when there is shortage of drinking water, lack of electricity, absence of trees and green spaces, lack of playgrounds where kids can have a childhood, lack of emergency lanes, scarcity of sidewalks, lack of dedication, inadequate leadership, as well as lack of air to breathe. There is just one thing this city does not lack - bicycle lanes. Those bicycle lanes are fuckin' great, and that’s something to be proud of, I guess.

Recently, in an attempt to make things better or worse, some really strange façade art “adorned” many of the crucial spots around the city. I have been in other cities of the world and I have seen murals and public artworks of all the sorts, but nothing like this. Even though I try I cannot understand their connection with the urban context and their effect is nothing more than depressively puzzling. I wonder why should we always import any form of trash from the outside and expose it as worthy or beautiful, when instead it is just annoying or sinister?

It seems like the city’s citizens are doomed to live a life of déjà vus, a vicious circle; where nothing really changes substantially, but where visually everything becomes new by some higher verdict that no one approves nor comprehends. All connections with past ways of life and histories are cut. A big mind reset, a big lie, leading towards a restless oblivion, this is what the new generation gets. Nothing worthy, nothing substantial to live for. No identity to call their own, no character to define Tirana as itself.

It saddens me to see the wistful faces of the people. They walk around struggling, jailed in a space with no trees, no culture, and no hope in sight. Surrounded by new guarding towers, and mesmerized by molesting “art pieces”. Their life violated each day and more, their mind fed with fresh trash culture, their souls sold for a few pieces of silver.


 











                                                                         





































Thursday, September 23, 2021

Amnesia

 

– a loss of collective memory

It was always in my mind, like a fixed idea, dedicating a series of photographs to the destructive phenomenon of collective memory loss in Albania. To me, it seems as the people are quickly forgetting their past, focusing exclusively on dealing with immediate needs of present and future. A kind of mental state where the past is erased daily, consciously or unconsciously, and where only the present/future are paramount. I find myself witnessing all this and fearing the uncertain times which await ahead. 


One can easily notice that this type of memory loss is occurring rapidly in every social sphere. Of course, the most visible sign of it is the erasure of historic sites and urban spaces all over the country. In the name of modernizing cities and “bettering” them to face the necessities of the 21st century, the old traditional buildings, houses or well-known landmarks are being put down, redesigning in this way the whole picture in the eyes of the beholders. Addresses are not the same anymore and the once characteristic city spots are forever gone, substituted by more skyscrapers or other “revitalizing” buildings which are obsolete for the people.


The society where we are living in now, is a society of "ish", which in English is translated "ex" or "what once was". Our sporadic appointments are set in places that do not exist anymore, like "ish teatri", "ish kinemaja" or "ish galeria", etc. It is hard to comprehend how fast this destruction is taking place and with what catastrophic consequences for the new generations. They will never know what used to be before them. What they will see, will be a view of modern falsity, without any particular meaning or connection with the previous generations and their traditions. A kind of memory reset, a loss of substance in making sense out of the world that we live in.


In Albania, the trauma of destroying and erasing what was already built, has ancient roots, and can also be traced in the people's mythology . The Rozafa legend for example is the perfect metaphor for what is really going on in these modern times. 
Communism and its devastating ideology brought colossal damage and transformation in the lives of the people. Everything related to the past was "re-evaluated" and "revalued", introducing the idea of the revolutionary new human, ready to obey without questioning whatever the party would order. Thus, they destroyed churches and mosques, eradicated entire landscapes, put down traditional neighborhoods and buildings; changing the people's memories through extreme propaganda.


It continued with “democracy”, where they started to destroy and erase whatever good was made in time of communism. It soon had disastrous consequences and created a political, economic and cultural collapse which brought the turmoil of 1997.
This memory cleansing process still continues nowadays, where everything of substantial value is torn down while dubious investments keep flourishing instead. These drastic changes and dramatic losses are more visible in the urban reality but the same effect is to be found in every other social aspect including: history, culture, art, nature, education, language, communication, crafts, human relationships, etc. 

In realizing this project, I did not want to fall under clichés of photographing just old rotten or demolished buildings around cities. Mostly, I wanted to bring something about the people and the traumatic effects of this destructive process upon them.
All the people that I photographed are wonderful humans and I am greatly thankful to all of them. Most of them got a printed copy of their picture. It's the least I could do to thank them for gracefully allowing me to annoy them. 

Challenges & achievements 

The project was entirely photographed in film and it was quite challenging to put it all together (shoot, develop, scan, edit) in just 7 days. I shot 9 films all in all, and used 2 cameras, a 35mm and a medium format one. I am very thankful to - The Tirana Project workshop and especially to the wonderful photographer, Jens Schwarz, who led me and the other participants in becoming better documentary photographers.



                                                                      Amnesia










Friday, August 20, 2021

On photography

 


What is photography? Some touching on the smartphone screen to capture a flying moment, then choosing the best shot, quickly adding some exotic filters, before posting it in social media? Well yes, it can be, especially in these "modern" times, where besides the everyday life there is also a virtual one online.

Today everyone can be a photographer and taking pictures is easier than ever. Well, did I say taking? What about making? In fact, besides being another language and cultural difference between English and Albanian language, this verb choice can also be “a ground breaking discovery” for capturing better pictures. English speakers usually use the word taking a picture for the process of directing the camera to a subject and pressing the shutter button. Fair enough, because usually in a process like this, the photographer can be just an observer, who does nothing more but documenting the reality in front. The reality is out there, while the photographer takes it in the camera and to the picture.

In a second thought, and this is my thought, the thought of an amateur photographer that loves the photography realm, I would prefer to use the Albanian verb “bёj” – to make; bёj fotografi. Why? Because, in order to realize a great picture, one that includes both documentation and artistic elements, the photographer has to think fast, compose the scene right, choose the best angle, feel the moment and sometimes interact with the subject in order to reach what the photographer wants, an image that might make you whisper – this is lovely!

Photography is an actively creative process, a process comparable with drawing and painting, where it is possible to compose and built your own scene from the scratch; a process that requires reflection and meditation before pressing the button. I usually prefer to make pictures, but sometimes I cannot escape the touristic urge of taking my smart phone out and shooting at everyone and everything.

This is a picture from my last visit in USA. In horizon stands Atlantic City, while in the foreground a crow flies free towards the ocean. In fact it is not a picture, it is two pictures in one, a double exposure in photographic language.

During those days I was by the seaside enjoying some Edgar Allan Poe poetry. Inspired by The Raven and Annabel Lee poems, I decided to realize something that would include elements from both poems. With my good old analogue camera which allows taking two pictures in one frame, I photographed the Kingdom by the Sea of Annabel Lee (Atlantic City), then quickly rearranged the camera for the second exposure and waited patiently for the Raven (the crow) to appear. There was a crow visiting the beach each day, at precisely 5:30 to 6 in the evening, to steal food from the bags of careless vacationers. When the crow appeared, I carefully followed its every move until I got closer and closer. In the end it flew in the horizon. There I pressed the shutter and luck was on my side.

Some days later, I developed the film and printed the picture in the darkroom. I discovered that both images were perfectly overlapped (as I had carefully planned), while the crow's wings were opened up in a glorious way. I had made my perfect picture.


Saturday, September 28, 2013

the creation of eve

Ma piu veleno stillano i tuoi occhi,
i tuoi verdi occhi,
...
amari abissi dove a frotte
si dissetano i miei sogni.